| (no subject) |
[Mar. 16th, 2008|06:08 am] |
My generation and below are the worst currently in the world. Personally I can't
think of any other generation that is worse then these. Barbarians, raiders, and
killers of the past almost surpass our generation, almost. The problem there is
that they then made some difference, they forced survival of the fittest, they
rallied the nations against or for a single cause, they caused change for the
good. For one way or the other maybe it wasn't what they were going for but they
made a change for the good. Now we have multiple generations that are fighting
the machine, the norm, what has been. The fight is usually not because they are
wanting to better something its because they think they must. There are so many
different factions so many choices that people think they must be different in
that way, they want to be an individual in that way but how can you when there are
so many people int he world that dress the same, look the same, even act the same
as you? They fight against the norm yet become a standard with in their new
faction. Ok Hold up I stated this speaking of something totally different. The
world and where it is going. The newer generation, the technology, the choices,
the changes in life as we know it are all different today then they were last
week or the week before or the one before that. This wouldn't be such a bad thing
if we were making a change for the total good. The choices today are so many
more and different then those offered to out parents, or our grandparents, or our
great grandparent... do you see a pattern here? With many choices comes many
responsibilities and repercussions and waste. I know grammatical error there, but I
believe that those three are equal in that sense. With every choice we make we
cause so much change, think butterfly effect, a butterfly flaps its wings on one
side of the world and thus causes a tornado on the other. Chaos is more then just
a theory. America was founded to allow choice, wars have been fault to protect
choice, a war is being fought right now to allow choice. But when is it too much,
When we can walk down to the local electronics store and have over 60 million ways
to build a sound system, maybe when we can choose from an entire aisle cereal?
Each box, or bag, of cereal packaged in cardboard and plastic with man made inks and
dyes with small cheaply made and mass produced prize inside. Our choices are making
waste. Everything is packaged with plastic or glass or metal or paper products that
usually fill our landfills. Acres of land covered with rotting garbage and non-biodegradable
plastics. There are two main types of plastics, those that can be reused and reformed
and those who can't. Those who can't usually include anything tougher then your usual
keyboard. Plastics on your car, in your chair, your desk, or your high impact protective
cases will end up piled some were old, worn in, and broken in a few years while you will
most likely have a new shiny version. Not only are our multitude of choices causing
waste but they cause responsibilities on us. No longer do we get the standard clock for
our house there are over 9000 designs with hundreds of colors to choose from, all being
mass produced. When the choice is made and it is unsatisfying later what happens? You
blame your self, it was your choice, then you put away or dispose of that one and try
again. This takes up more mental power and time to some simple thing and it causes
doubt and regret in oneself. The multitude in choices that we can be angry at when done,
or regret when over cause this mass depression that plagues the world. With so
many choices if you don't like something who's to blame, and what do you do to people
that are to blame for something you don't like? Lets pull back to this new generation
they have all these choices they make some and realize that everyone else is making some
figuring that others might make the same choice as them they try to make new choices
they then try to make an individual out of them self by making choices that they think
sets them apart yet it usually just aligns them to some faction. Once aligned they
follow it thinking it was their idea that this makes them an individual. So they make
this change because its what they thought they wanted when all they had to do is be them
selves. No two people are the same, this is a know fact, even identical twins have different
finger prints, DNA, and personalities. They are different normally, why aren't we?
Choices of my generation will affect future generations, they all ready are, for
once choice today will have a outcome for evermore, "Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'" |
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| uggg |
[May. 11th, 2007|11:03 am] |
It's just one of those days
Where ya don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked, everybody sucks.
You don't really know why
But you wanna justify rippin' someone's head off.
Hmm how true right now... things are falling down around me I'm putting 90% into school but only gettting low cs to ds in classes right now.. I know of people that dont even go to class and dont study but are doing better then me, seems like I need to put 200%. Right now I cant stand to be around anyone, I'm getting rubed the wrong way... well so much to do so little time. |
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| almost random |
[Jun. 18th, 2006|02:17 pm] |
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Happiness isn’t a light switch, either on or off. It has many levels like the rainbow, each hue a level of happiness. Also just like the rainbow you can be at either end of it, no one is completely happy and no one is entirely depressed. To tie in with the shade of a persons rainbow consider the level of OK. OK is the most complex thing I have ever pondered. Ok can range between infinity and negative infinity, so when some one say that they’re OK just check on the type of ok they are talking about |
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| why say good bye, when see ya later is a promise |
[Jun. 18th, 2006|02:15 pm] |
Time moves on, we say good bye and see ya later..
Time moves on, meet some one new make new friends..
Time moves on, just keep in touch never let go..
Time moves on, if life brings us together again dont just walk by with out an hello
Time moves on, dont let it slip away make it last longer by slowing your self and your friends.
Time slows down, when you just watch the clouds. |
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| roots |
[May. 25th, 2006|09:17 pm] |
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Your friends and family are the roots to your tree of life. They are there to support you to help you. don’t shove them away for with out their help you will fall. Think of roots, its better to have quality then quantity, with quantity they are weak and hard to keep connected to but strong roots they are thick they are connected hard to break. Lean on your friends, they are there for you, when the wind is blowing use them as support. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2006|04:25 pm] |
This is my new freind, she is awesome, she does her own stunts!
 |
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| ahhhhh |
[Apr. 19th, 2006|08:42 pm] |
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Soo Im in a bit of shit at OIT for the few pranks and the shopping cart. Also my refund check of 1000 dollars which was saposed to get me a nice computer and several other things, and the additional 140 that I got from selling my gas scooter seems to be quickly slipping away to my mothers pocket. It started with me giving her 100, then she took 150 then she took 50, now her truck broke down again and shes gonna probly need 250 from me to get another new drive shaft..... Things are just getting worse and worse I just want to go back to the little town the sunny lake and the steady job. |
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| Arrested |
[Apr. 17th, 2006|05:00 am] |
Late Saturday night 4 men in pirate outfits were arrested on the OIT campus for stealing a shopping cart.
Thats how far it had gotten by Sunday afternoon. Mr. Brett Bemer we visiting me at OIT and while theres plenty of videogames to play we were looking for something else to do. After ahving rootbeer floats at out local long john silvers/
A&W we left the parking lot wearing LJS pirate hats. On our way to OIT we were making different joke and what not about a good many things and suddenly we spotted a group of shopping carts on the side of the road. My self being a criminal mastermind decided that we were to take one of the said carts back to OIT.
After returning to OIT two sasp members saw up bringing the cart in to the Res hall vial the dwon stairs ramp. It being their "duty" to report us they called it in as suspicious behavior.
After doing a quick shopping trip through the snack bar we returned to the Pope's room and began to shift through our plunder, then the cart became a rather cumfy chair. While comptliplating our next move Brett and I left to retive our pirate shirts, Bretts being in his car made us exit the dorms. Apon stepping out fo the door we were aprehended by the campus security officer Bowman. After a through atarragation he escorted us while we returned the cart to the back of the truck and then later made sure we had returned it to thunderbirds.
Did you know that a shopping cart can cost from 100 to 700 dollars? Also it is a felony to take one, it is theft even if its ment to be returned. Thsi will be on my OIT records and the fourth person that was there, who will remain nameless, will be an RA next year...... There will be no fines, Thunderbird seemed fine that it was just messing around and I now have an RA, Amor, that I fear will be watching me like a hawk....... |
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| My Gaia journal.......... now for all to see |
[May. 6th, 2005|10:14 pm] |
last month of high school
Wow senior year, that last of it. here is my senior pic, its kinda blurry cuz ita a hardcopy i used my webcam to get a pic of.
Ill be going to OIT in September, and I am almost fully paid. Im feeling better witht eh whole Amber thing, I have forced my self to be happy for her, but I dont think Ill ever not love her.
Ronnen · Wed Apr 27, 2005 @ 8:18 pm · 0 Comments [add]
bla
What is your first name? Robert
Were you named after anyone? yes
Do you wish on stars? yes
Which finger is your favorite? thumb
When did you last cry? a week ago
Do you like your handwriting? no
What is your favorite lunchmeat? turky
Any bad habits? nail biting
What is the most embarrassing CD on your shelf? ricky martin
If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself? yes
Would you ever go skydiving? yes
Have you ever told a secret you swore you would never tell? yes
Do looks matter? no
How do you release your anger? some times
Where is your second home? my truck
Do you trust others easily? too easily
What was your favorite toy as a child? legos
What class in school do you think is totally useless? SST
Do you have a journal? yes
Do you use sarcasm? yes
Have you ever been in a mosh pit? yes
What do you look for in a guy/girl? kind caring, good sense of humor, smart
Would you bungee jump? yes
Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? yes
Do you think that you are strong? yes
What's your favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate chip mint
What is your shoe size? 12.5
What are your favorite colors? blue white silver
How do you have it? it???
Who do you miss most right now? Amber
What are you listening to right now? TV
Last thing you ate? gumi bear
Last person you talked to on the phone? Boss
The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? my attaction twords them
Do you like the person that sent this to you? dont know her
Spell your full name backwards: sppirC eoJ ybboB
How are you today? so so
Your screen name? Ronnen
4 words that sum you up: smart careing nice guy
Nervous Habits? biting nails
Are you double jointed? no
Can you roll your tongue: yes
Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? yes
Can you cross your eyes? yes
Piercing and where? no
Which shoe goes on first? right
Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? yes
On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet? $20
What jewelry do you wear 24/7? glasses?
Favorite piece of clothing? jacket
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? both
Have you ever eaten Spam? yes
Favorite ice cream flavor? look above
How many cereals in your cabinet? 3
What's your favorite beverage? coffie
What's your favorite restaurant? Olive garten
Do you cook? yes
How often do you brush your teeth? twice daly
Hair drying method? leave it
Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? I have tryed
Do you swear? some times
Do you ever spit on the sidewalk? yes
Animal? K-9
Food? Itallian
Month? Febuary
Day? Friday
Cartoon? simpsons
Shoe Brand? Converse
Subject in school? Math/ART
Color? Blue
Sport? baseball
TV show? familyguy
Thing to do in the spring? swim
Things to do in the summer? swim
Thing to do in the fall? read
Things to do in the winter? play in snow
Person you talk most on the phone with? Brett/Amber
Ever taken a cab? yes
Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors? no
What color is your bedroom? blue
Do you use an alarm clock? yes
Window seat or aisle? aisle
What's your sleeping position? face down
Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? no
Do you snore? yes
Do you sleepwalk? yes
Do you talk in your sleep? yes
How about with the light on? lol yes
Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? yes
Do you wish you could be someone else? most definatly
Ronnen · Tue Mar 22, 2005 @ 1:00 am · 0 Comments [add]
Long day
Its been a long day. I only had like 6 hours of sleep then went to town and then came back home and watched Sean of the Dead, and Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. I liked both of them. Now Im on gaia posting in random places.........
I called Ambers house yester day.... I cant get her off my mind, I though I would talk to her and well tell her what she is doing and how its effecting me....... well she was at work, but she called today and left a message.... Ill try calling her house tomarrow. Her mother was saposed to come up over the week end, and even if she has hurt me I want to check on her, give her a sholder to cry on if needed.......
I hate being a nice guy!!!! I feel liek I own ppl and that I should be there to help them, then no one ever helps me. I have tryed to be mean but I felt soo bad about it afterwards, one I still feel bad for and it happend 10 years ago.
"Oh god I shouldnt feel this way!!
reach your hand down in your pocket now
reach down right now
its been a long daaayy baaabyyy
aint that right"
Ronnen · Mon Mar 21, 2005 @ 11:59 pm · 0 Comments [add]
wow
wow, I just read all of my posts in here and relized that it has been a long long time since I was happy, not just like hey today wasnt a bad day happy, I meen Today was a great day joyously happy.
Its been this way since Amebr enterd my life, before then i could feel that soem thing was missing but i just filled it with friends and music and art and school and sports and all of the other stuff out there. Bot now nooooo! I cant get her out of my head, nothing makes me stop thinking about her for longer then 30 minets! ahhhgg it used to be i woudl sit and read a book and get caught up in it, or i would start a painting and now think of anything else till it was done, but no! not now, i read an dwhen the love interest walks in in the book my mind switched to Amber. While im painting wheni think that a tree right there would look beautefull i get the feeling to put her there leening against the tree... god what is wrong with me?
Ronnen · Wed Mar 16, 2005 @ 11:23 pm · 0 Comments [add]
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
Why does life suck so much? Today, I wasnt even the first to hear, that Amber and Chris are going out. My heart and head hurt so much, i went in to a dizzy spin and I havnt pulled out of it. I whent hikking after school trying to get my head off of it, but i kinda when crazy, Brett was with me, and he was afraid for my life. Hangind off of snagged logs 50 feet above some boulders, and climbing right up the rock face of a hill... i really didnt fear for my self.
Brett said that Amber was doing this trying to twist some thing aroung with Chris, like tryign to get some one jelous.... he says that shes not a nice/pure as i think. I cant get her out of my head, but he says i should, he also says that she dosnt really like Chris like that.
Why Life Why
Brett thinks Im a great guy and that i dont desurve this, but this fucked up life is all i know, so if i desurve some thing els where is it? why has it been hiding?
Ronnen · Mon Mar 14, 2005 @ 10:35 pm · 1 comment [add]
Brett wrote some thing for me.
" wrote this one for Bobby. I know I could reflect him more or write one that he would connect with more...but nonetheless I wrote this one with him in mind. I haven't posted any in a while here and have mainly kept most of my writings to myself except for posting them where I posted my drawings...but...I hope Bobby enjoys this and perhaps it will snap to him like I desired...too bad its very rough...but...I don't feel in the mood to perfect it at the time. Oh..and I love you Terray....very much.
Like a lightning bolt your mind snapped
A cataclysmic change behind thine weary eyes
A sundering tainted of remorse
You were ripped away from who you needed most
Without that person?s love you are nothing
Your loving heart set on their simple life
One that seems to complicated to you
Such a caring soul shining of great beauty
But yet marred with an even greater ignorance
This greatest need being what you lack the most
So cry from love you yearn to feel
And the pain you chose to ignore
How could this person hurt you so carelessly?
If only they took just one second
To give you the love you so badly need
What you are so hollow without
Your mind dreams of the happiness you might have had
And hates what has become anathema to you
So now all you can feel is this distance
And the sadness that can only attempt to fill what is hollow
Now a silent thunderstorm fills your mind
But still it?s all you can hear
A revelation to the misery is nowhere near in sight
Nor never will it be
Until you are close to the one that threw you away
The same one that your friends look to when they gaze upon you
Now a cessation of your own illusions cries to be
For you are hollow without being with yourself
Without your own love you are nothing"
It made me cry seeing that some one really knows me, he know me better then I thought he knew me.
Ronnen · Fri Mar 11, 2005 @ 7:09 pm · 1 comment [add]
laa la laa la laaaaa
"This love replaces all that is hollow
So much more is found substantial
I can?t guarantee our existence
Or the timeline that it follows
Yet we live in this circle of friends
And each breath is found to be well worth the effort
I can only pray that this love never ceases
For we all loved to be loved
And your love is beyond value to me"
I feel this way about Amber, and Brett feels this way about Terray still. The dorky friend Chris has acked Amber out, the first girl he has ever asked out, Brett and I knew it would happen, Amber didnt belive me.
Ronnen · Thu Mar 10, 2005 @ 8:28 pm · 1 comment [add]
bla bla bla
This is a best pic of Amber that I have. Now I have asked her out, Brett has asked her out, both Chris' have, and about 3 other ppl at school. Only Brett and I really really know her, I know i love her, and no ammout of words can express it. I think Brett might love her also. Soem good news, i have been accepted to OIT, and they gave me a fully paid ride. The only good thing that has happend. I think im going to get in alot of trouble tomarrow, Ambers EX_BF, the little asshole i talked about in my first few entries, has been bothering her, and grabbign her. Im gonna keep my self from hurting him too much.
Ronnen · Wed Mar 09, 2005 @ 9:26 pm · 0 Comments [add]
and a new crappy days begins
Well my birthday came a nd gone, it was noting special, Amber spent mroe time at my little party snuggleing on brett then talking to me. And V-day was crap too, i didnt get anything. no cards no nothing, I gave Amber evey thing that i could buy that had grumpy bear, her favorite care bear, on it to her, it was all in her locker... well yeah crappy days become crappy weeks become crappy months ect......
Ronnen · Fri Feb 18, 2005 @ 12:26 am · 1 comment [add]
Wensday and i have two days till Im 18
so yesterday was Amber's birthday, I wanted it to be perfict for her. I had, what i thougt were the perfict gifts, A perfictly hand made jewlerybox, two DVDs of her favorite country singers, a poster or vangohs starry night... It had some symbolism of how i wanted to help her and protect her..... also a key chain that was all pretty and pink that said
" [ ]Godess
[ ]Princess
[ ]Perfect
[X] All of the above"
Ya well she liked it and all, she loved the jewlery box, it took me two months to make. Well all went well untill her mother called on her cellphone, well her mom is married to her stepdad that did this to her[check an older post]
Well that was the hardest thing i have ever had to sit through, I had to watch her talking to her sister and mom that she hasnt talked to or seen in almost 5 months, she was trying to sound happy but her face. I just wanted to put my hand on her shoulder let her know i was there, but brett was there for that.....
We cheared her up with her gifts, and the food and cake were great, we were at Outback Steak house, an hour drive away. we all went out side, Brett, Amber, Chris[some what geeky friend], and me... well ya we were all hangin gout out side of the outback and we were joking, I was trying to keep brett warm by giving him my jacket, I love the cold, and he tryed to kick the jacket up to me but he hit my knee...
So that was the first bad thing, then Chris said "lets race home" so jokingly i jumped in his truck too, he was yelling "Bobby you dumbass get out" so i started to get out of the truck and he hit the gas, My back bent the wrong way. OUCH, and the next thing I knew they were all gone. Chris sped away. So i started to get depressed, i started to remember all the time i was ditched back in middle school, I hated Middle school it was hell for me.
So I had a hour long drive home but along the way I called Bretts cell and told them that I had Amber Bday gifts in my truck so they said to meet them at the bottom of Ambers hill. Not many ppl know what goes on in my head, it is constenly thinking, it dosnt matter what, but it just starts and dosnt stop. On the hour ride home my brain was thinking of how bad i felt as she talked to her mother and sis, and of all the stupid shit i went through during my life. I was fighing back the tears so i could see to drive. When I got to the agreed meeting place I gave her her gifts back and then said "I hope you had a good birthday, ill se ya tomarrow, goodnight." I didnt want to say something that i woudnt meen, or would regrett later
well this moring she was angy at me saying that I was blaming her for bad stuff last night. I tryed to tell her that nothing was wrong, and the Im fine, and I even tryed to apoligize, Chris never apoligized. So I wrote Amber a letter saying soem of what went through my head last night, and how i was feeling when her head wne tot rest on Bretts sholder when i just wanted to hold her and try to comfort her. And I said in the letter that "I love you, and I want you to be happy"
My teacher, hes a funny old horndog, well he saw what was going on between Amber and I, and he told me "well there is 3,652,000,000 women out there, get looking" and later like 4 hour later he saw that i was still dumpy said "we should go get wasted" in a jokingly manner.
It has been a long few days, and soon ill be 18 and ill have even more shit to deal with.
Ronnen · Wed Feb 09, 2005 @ 11:09 pm · 0 Comments [add]
Saturday, 6 days till Im 18
Well i was trying to plan to go to Town with Amber and Brett to day to see a movie. We couldnt see a movie but Amber had cancled her other ride down for work so we went anyways. yesterday, Friday, I stayed over at Bretts we were talking about music and stuff, then amber showed up so for a few horus we sat around talking, listing to music and watching Monty Python. After Amber left Brett started to tell me about how much Amber talks about me, how she wants me to be happy, it sounded like what I have been saying about her. That made me so happy, So saturday as we drove to town Amber and I were singing any songs we could think of, and Brett told me later that she and I make a good duett.
So we wonderd around the mall for a few hours and then I droped her off at work. She has been talking to Brett more then me latly cuz my bitch of a mother is fucking crazy....
But she has been talking about her time with the schools councelar, and she says that i help her and she cares for me and wants me to be happy i dont think that any one can understand how happy that makes me
Ronnen · Sun Feb 06, 2005 @ 12:38 am · 0 Comments [add]
hmmmmmmmm
To start off Im glad that none of my friends up here like Gaia.
Ok well Brett broke up with his GF, and it happend in the middle of his dog dying and his brother doing some real stupid shit. Now his Ex before his current EX is telling every oen that he broke up with terray, his current EX, to go out with Amber, that would break my heart. Its getting interesting up here in this tiny town of prospect. I dont think that they will go out, they are my best friends, and I think they see me as their best friend. This reminds me of a series of books, Bedlam Bard, and Beyond worlds End.
Some thing compleetly of subject, I have been playing Basketball for the school and I seem to go pretty well but I cant make any shots, its either i just pass it or i miss, I have only tryed to shoot 5 shots this entire seson. Well its almost over and the coach said that for every shot I mike he will give me a dollar, we only have 4 games left. So I hope I can fill in my weak areas for the last games.
Dont you just hate High School
Ronnen · Thu Feb 03, 2005 @ 11:48 pm · 0 Comments [add]
PICCY
on the very left is Brett, Im in the center, and Amber is on the right sorry it is such a fuzzy pic
Ronnen · Fri Jan 21, 2005 @ 9:40 pm · 0 Comments [add]
The rant of the day
Well today I went to see the movies with Amber, the girl of my dreams, and my best friend, Brett a some what dark and depressed loner who I have trying to pull out of the shadows and in to society.
Well we went and saw Meet the Fockers, great movie, but I also saw some what of a connection between Brett and Amber…. I didn’t like that, just a week ago she told me that she couldn’t handle a BF, and now she seems to be on Brett….
When she and I were talking one time, the first time I told her that I liked her, she told me that she didn’t like Brett, that she didn’t like the dark and depressed loner type. I’m getting confused.
Today she told me that I’m the “greatest guy she has ever known”, you wouldn’t believe how that made me feel inside. We had so many connections during the day, when some thing was said and I told her what I thought of the comment and well yeah… I think I lover her, so what am I so afraid of???
BTW… Brett has a girl friend, and they both love each other a lot, I don’t think he would cheat, and he knows the way I feel about Amber, interesting enough he told me that I’m too nice, I have been told that my entire life. I’m too nice so I get picked on, I’m too nice to be a BF so I’m friend material, I’m too nice and well…. The list goes on.
Ronnen · Thu Dec 30, 2004 @ 1:53 am · 2 Comments [add]
a group or rambelings
About two months ago I met the girl of my dreams. She had just moved here because of some disturbing things her stepfather down in Cali did.... well when she first moved here I guess one of the biggest assholes I have every known asked her out, like her first day in Oregon.
I knew what type of guy this person was, but I wasn’t willing to try to force a break up, I told her why I wouldn’t hang out with him. Well that lasted a few weeks... she finally realized what type of guy he is, and they broke up, he was an ass while the whole break up, and she left it crying. Well I waited two weeks thinking it would be long enough before asking her out, then I asked her, but she didn’t really give me an answer....
I arranged a big dance at my school on Friday, I’m the High School President, well I asked her to the dance and she said yes. At the dance a lot of guys were asking her to dance. She kept dancing with other guys instead of me... Well after the dance I got an answer from her... she only likes me as a friend
On Thursday she and I were talking and she started to think about what’s happening in her life, like I said all of her family in Cali if trying to fuck up her life, and doing a good job at it. So while she was telling me what was happening she started to cry but sitting there all I wanted to do was Hug her and try to comfort her but I think she would take it the wrong way, it hurts so much to see the ones you love in so much pain and anguish.
Thursday night I was going near her house, and she wanted me to group off a CD, so I made her an Origami rose, perfectly folded with a stem and a leaf. The flower was red; the stem/leaf was green.
Well when I saw how much that cheered her up, I decided to make it so she could have a dozen roses, so when I picked her up for the dance I gave her 11 more origami roses.
Well I don’t blame her, Her entire family in Cali is fighting against her, no one believes waht her dad did to her, and a lot of bad stuff has been happening in her life. She just doesn’t thing that she could handle a BF right now, and I don’t think that she doesn’t like me like me, there is just too much chemistry
I have always been the type of guy that would do any thing to help a friend or a loved one, but I will go through any thing that is happening to me I have endured more shit then most ppl even hear about in their entire life.
I don’t feel this way towards any other girl, well one other but we grew up together and were best friends for most of my life. We are good friends, and she knows that I’ll help her any way I can with her problems in her family, an maybe when that’s all cleared up we could be more then friends.
Ronnen · Sun Dec 19, 2004 @ 12:40 am · 0 Comments [add]
ello ello
Hi, home coming was last night, heres piccys of me all spiffied up
the new girl, who shall be kept unnamed, wasnt there. I was hoping to see her. I feel sorry for her, she just moved here, and started to date a little asshole who shares my name and has personality masks. I like her and all, but im not willing to try to brake her and him up. I think she needs to learn who he really is on her own.
Ronnen · Sat Oct 23, 2004 @ 11:01 pm · 1 comment [add]
ello
So here is my first post, I have only one thing on my mind right now, relationships. I have seen friends go through them like water. I have seen good ones and bad ones. The only problem is I havent had one.
Its odd, i like a girl, and it seems like they like me, but then they go out with some ass hole, of even my best friend. Living in a small town there arnt many ppl around, and of the 56 ppl in High school here, I have liked six of them in my entire life, and out of the 3 girls that I have askes out over the years, only one said yes, then my parents fucked that one up, two laughed at me. the sixth girl i have liked just moved here....... so heres my first post, and its all raving
Ronnen · Sat Oct 23, 2004 @ 2:33 am · 0 Comments [add] |
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| lost in pheonix |
[Mar. 27th, 2005|02:32 am] |
Hmm ritch and eccentric grandmother, odd cousins and a quiet aunt......... hmm a verry odd vacation to the end of a bad spring break, Im still in AZ, and I will be till tuesday morn.... I think, jeez I dont even know when Im leaving. well I need to get some sleep I have to be in church in a few hours. I might return home with a new laptop!!! yippy skippy. bye byez
"cheeze, it can be annoying" |
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| ahhhhh |
[Mar. 21st, 2005|12:12 am] |
Why cant I get oyu out of my head?
Are you tired from running around in there?
Do you know what being around you does to me?
Do oyu know what seeing oyu with him does to me?
Its all in my head, over and over again, over and over agian I cant take it I cant shake it no |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 14th, 2005|12:37 pm] |
A good friend of mine wrote this for me, he made me cry knowing that some one out there actually knew what I was feeling.
" I wrote this one for Bobby. I know I could reflect him more or write one that he would connect with more...but nonetheless I wrote this one with him in mind. I haven't posted any in a while here and have mainly kept most of my writings to myself except for posting them where I posted my drawings...but...I hope Bobby enjoys this and perhaps it will snap to him like I desired...too bad its very rough...but...I don't feel in the mood to perfect it at the time. Oh..and I love you Terray....very much.
Like a lightning bolt your mind snapped
A cataclysmic change behind thine weary eyes
A sundering tainted of remorse
You were ripped away from who you needed most
Without that person’s love you are nothing
Your loving heart set on their simple life
One that seems to complicated to you
Such a caring soul shining of great beauty
But yet marred with an even greater ignorance
This greatest need being what you lack the most
So cry from love you yearn to feel
And the pain you chose to ignore
How could this person hurt you so carelessly?
If only they took just one second
To give you the love you so badly need
What you are so hollow without
Your mind dreams of the happiness you might have had
And hates what has become anathema to you
So now all you can feel is this distance
And the sadness that can only attempt to fill what is hollow
Now a silent thunderstorm fills your mind
But still it’s all you can hear
A revelation to the misery is nowhere near in sight
Nor never will it be
Until you are close to the one that threw you away
The same one that your friends look to when they gaze upon you
Now a cessation of your own illusions cries to be
For you are hollow without being with yourself
Without your own love you are nothing
6:34 PM - 4 eprops - 6 comments - email it
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
I can see the beauty in your visage
But I wrap myself in the emotions beyond it
Why you do lash out tenderly?
And then speak so harshly?
Your lack of affection for me hurts so
Much more then your blows ever could
But at least I can see your true intent
Your tongue poised with poison
I taste it each time my heart splits
My pain was always your reward
What you die without I die with
At least I always meant less to us
Your lies satisfying your cruel hunger
As I lay starving in my dark corner
I wish you would choke on your gluttony
But instead I lay here asphyxiating from my regrets
I gave up trying a long time ago
So smother me and forget me again
And through your insidious actions
I may learn to forget myself as well
5:35 PM - 10 eprops - 7 comments - email it
Sunday, February 20, 2005
(Yeah I know this one sux but its the mood I was in at the time and I just felt like writing it. It doesn't have as much meaning as they have been having lately nor do I like it nearly as much as the others but oh well...its still here)
Till death do us part
Instead a part of us died
Our love red rose
Now faded to grey
Maybe it’s better off this way though
But my moments with you were my happiest
Sometimes the simplest things
Are what we overlook the most
These searches for hidden reasons
Among obscured puzzles
Are they merely to amuse us?
Surely our ignorance does that
Obvious answers are ignored
Although perhaps our mistakes
Borne of stupidity are intelligent
Perhaps we are better off without the truth
No matter how much we hate the lies
So we feed ourselves falsehoods
But how can you deny my love for you?
It's presence overwhelms me
I can't help but to want to help
I desire nothing but the best for you" |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 13th, 2005|10:50 pm] |
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Well this is my first post...... I don't know what to put. I learned one thing today, a few of my friends like to talk about some of my other friends behind their backs... I don't like that! |
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